So there I am in TK Maxx in Birmingham City Centre, doing some shopping with a friend of mine, and what comes over the tannoy but a ridiculously feeble lackluster voice:

“(microphone squeal/feedback) Duty manager to front desk Please, that’s Duty Manager to front desk, thank yooooou. (microphone squeal again – click)”

I couldn’t believe my ears – it’s not that I relish the opportunity to take the piss out of people with really weird voices, but it was something like I’ve never ever heard before. It wasn’t just because it was a voice with such little conviction that even a bat wouldn’t acknowledge the whiney drivel, but that here was a store, in a prime retail location in Birmingham, with approximately 1000 shoppers in at that point in time, whose store manager thought it ok to let the girl near the microphone.

Not that every employee is going to have a pitch perfect speaking voice, but this was unreal. It amused me greatly as I was ambling round the aisles, running the announcement through my head again and again. Little things I suppose…

Then of course, as we finally approached the array of cash desks, all with employees on who looked as though they really didn’t want to be there, I heard the immortal words…..

“Cashier Number 4 Please…”

Made my day……which is why I’ve given it to you as a ringtone gift on my website!:

http://www.richardheathcote.co.uk/downloads.html